The Mask
[Now that Joyce's thesis is finished, and Grace and Chris' wedding is over, time for me to finish off said half-baked posts...]
She had everything to live for — a “beautiful and bubbly” girl that was described as “intelligent, successful, talented and popular”. However, her friends and family were stunned when Charmaine Dragun took her own life at The Gap.
Nobody saw it coming.
Despite her cheerful appearances, impressive social circles and other external factors, deep down she was really troubled. She effectively lived a life behind a mask of faux happiness, keeping up a positive image of herself, while deep down her hurts were slowly driving her over the edge.
A bit over a year ago, I had the unfortunate experience of being informed that Andrew, a co-worker who I was working closely with at the time, committed suicide. None of us saw it coming neither — he was similarly positive, good-natured and had a carefree attitude towards life. It would appear that not even some of his recent setbacks had affected him much.
Oh, how wrong we were.
It’s scary how such troubled and hurt people put on these masks to give the impression that everything is going along superbly. On one day, it looks like nothing in the world can possibly dent their positive outlook; the next, police inform you that something tragic happened.
I’ve been told that you often can’t pick which people around you are depressed. Sure, there are some who exhibit very obvious signs of depression, and if something tragic happens to them, people wouldn’t say it came out of the blue. However, I find it rather disconcerting to know that may be people around me that are walking time bombs, but appear to be otherwise.
Perhaps it’s me feeling some sort of latent helplessness — knowing that there may be people around me that are living life behind their masks, and struggling inside. But then, what could I do even if I knew? They might simply deny that they have a problem and tell me to move on, nothing to worry about…
Now I’m no psychologist, but apparently there are some telltale signs of people who are trying to internalise their depression. However, you’d have to know the person fairly well since you’ll need to spot subtle differences in habits/behaviour. These may include changes in sleeping patterns, appetite, and energy levels.
Of course, not everyone who has changes in sleeping patterns, appetite or energy levels is depressed, nor do all depressed people go through these changes. However, it’s something that might be useful to keep in mind.